Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Life isn’t always fair or rosy or any of those things we believe it is. It is often a test. I’ve learnt that the same holds for friendship too. Every relationship goes through its share of ups and downs. I have some of the best friends anyone can ever hope to have. We’ve grown up together, giving each other shoulders to cry on, taking calls at the crack of dawn to share good news. Some things will never change. There is comfort in this knowledge.

I’ve found myself change over the years though, from being very judgmental to becoming reflective; from speaking my mind out and expecting them to understand just because they are my closest friends to understanding that we may be friends, but we are individuals first. I realized only today that this was the new me. The new me doesn’t say “I told you so” when things go exactly as she predicted. In fact, the new me has been around for a few years now, I just didn’t realize it.

Life is full of choices. My friends are free to make theirs. If I have reservations about those, I can make a choice to keep my reservations to myself. I got a jolt this morning. I happened to reflect on how differently I might have reacted to the same event about 5 years ago. I thought about why I chose to keep mum, when in another avatar I may have jumped out with bucket loads of unsolicited advice. And then I saw this Facebook status message of someone very close to me:

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.

Life has brought me to the cross roads and I made a choice today. What do you do when you are in a fix? If you knew that your friend is about to make the biggest mistake of his/her life, would you watch him/her do it or would you speak your mind? Would you watch them go through the fire and wait for them at the other end? Or would you plead with them to listen to you because you "simply know" better?


Rujuta said...

Hi Raaga
Lovely blog.......and i can completely relate to this post as i had a friend who was going to make an imp decision in her life and i didnt think it was the right one.....I let her know that i respect her decision and that i will always be there for her....Gradually, she thought over and changed her decision herself..... but she was always thankful tht i didnt try to influence her in making any decision....

popsie said...

Ah well, like you rightly said some may be our best friends but as we are first individuals we need not agree on everything in life. Yet I believe that if I consider someone a very good friend I should not get offended if he/she disagrees with me or tells me I am wrong and yet do what I feel is right and what I strongly feel like doing. The same applies vice versa...else the friendship seems fake and meaningless!

As for the judgmental aspect, I can so relate to it...I still am rather judgmental but at least not when it comes to my genuine friends. Hope that is one step forward in the direction to change!